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| Another Chapter Ends | Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:29 pm by VaderXanth | I am done. I can't stand it anymore.
I moved up here in October of 2000 due to the lady I was with was pregnant and she wanted to be closer to her family. Me, always trying to make others happy, agreed. That marriage is over. That house was lost. Those ties are severed. My latest greatest adventure ended more than a year ago. That one moved to Louisiana. There is nothing to do up here. I hate winter sports, I don't have a 4-wheeler or dirt bike. I don't like going to the bars to socialize. So, what is there to do up here? Hrmmmm. Work work work. I do have a few friends up here, but they have for the main part different outlooks on life and they have different ideas of what to do for fun. I don't do anything with anyone up here on the weekends so I rarely speak. Who's here to hear me? I do talk to my cats, but I keep it to the bare minimum because if I have a full blown conversation with them, things wouldn't be well.
Yes. I do have a decent job. I'm making just over $18/hr. and that has provided me the means to get things that I want. But in all honesty, I'd rather be broke and see my brother more than once a year. No gas in my car? I'd be able to either walk or ride my bike to my best friends house. There are more things to do in the Marinette area than there is up here. My job is the ONLY thing that has kept me up here this long and I'm sick of that. Why should a job have so much control over someone? I do know that jobs are hard to find and I should be 'happy' that I'm employed, but still.... I believe that I'd be happier stocking shelves for $7/hr. while being able to see my family and friends vs. making $18 and being alone. Money can't buy happiness. It can buy a $1,200 computer, it can buy miniatures for games that can't be played since getting together is inconvenient, it can buy a couch and loveseat for ONE PERSON(?!?!?!), it can buy a chainsaw.... It can buy me books so I can try to learn things so I can stay in touch with my best friend.
I am just so fucking bored and alone up here and I'm getting really tired of it. It's getting to the point where I'm spending more time looking for things to do than actually doing things. I stayed up until past 10 am this morning because I didn't want to go to sleep because there was soooo much I could be doing. And what did I do? nothing. I finally went to bed because I was getting a headache. Got out of bed at 5:30 pm... weekend gone. just like the one before this one. gone..
Where do I want to be? Where do I want to call home? I want to be back in Marinette. That is where it feels like home. And right now I'm feeling really homesick. I think that it's time to look for a job and a place to live down there again. I probably won't do anything until Spring, unless of course something really good comes my way. But I've up my mind. This is not my home, I don't like it up here and I am going to be doing everything I can to get out of here and back down there.
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