Netflix Finds...

Let's ask some hypothetical questions. What if the original Predator movie had a US military cyborg experiment instead of an alien as the invisible bad guy? What if Arnold was too busy so they Got Kevin Sorbo instead? What if the other halfway decent actors were replaced with complete no talent no names? Would that be something you would have to see just to have the bragging rights that you made it all the way through?

WELL, friends! Browse your Netflix to "Flesh Wounds!!!" The script is altered from Predator, but damn near every scene has been lovingly restored with the worst possible actors they could find to back up Mr. Sorbo. And speaking of, I've seen Kevin Sorbo do some damn fine work. He is NOT a horrible actor.... until he read the script for "FLESH WOUNDS" (hear it echo?) and probably fired his agent. I imagine Kevin arriving on set, looking around, chuckling and saying "I guess I'm phoning in this performance." You could tell... he didn't even try! This movie's saving graces? Um.... hmmmm.... well... pfft!

Even the tribal drum beat music from Predator has been maintained!!! The whole isolated Jungle thing... the "we need a reason to have just ONE chick in the whole movie." Oh, that guy is hurt, and the main hero is helping him walk... if this were Predator, that guy would get laser blasted in the head now... ZZZZzzzzap!!! REALLY?!

But I made it all the way through! Flesh Wounds:

What? No Holy Grail reference?

How about this: Not even Monty Python could have saved this film.