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 Chanbara Beauty: The Movie - Vortex (2009)

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Shadowcrunch
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PostSubject: Chanbara Beauty: The Movie - Vortex (2009)   Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:42 am

IMDB listing: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1438499/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Netflix: Yes (as of 8-1-14)
Amazon: ??

Plot: In 20XX the world is still overpopulated by Zombies and Aya and Saki stop fighting to join together against there new enemy, Himiko

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Shadowcrunch
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PostSubject: Re: Chanbara Beauty: The Movie - Vortex (2009)   Wed Aug 06, 2014 7:57 am

Okay, maybe I'm getting desensitized to the charm of Japanese films, maybe it's just Japanese manga or anime turned films... probably not, as I'll still watch Harlock or FF7 or The Returner... yeah, maybe this movie really does just suck.

I read about this movie a few years ago, and now all of a sudden it's on netflix, being compared to Tokyo Gore Police, Machine Gun Girl, ETC... It's a chick with 2 katana and her sister fighting zombies, and from the snippets of anime I saw, there should be lots of blood and T&A... you know, Japanese B-rated! Let's see... NR rating on Netflix... that means over the top fake gore, and lots of T&A!!!

Wrong. At WORST, I'd give this movie a PG-13. The gore is a zombie shooting blood across the screen, blood that is DRAWN/PAINTED on the frames as an overlay (very comic book styled, I will admit), and they use that opportunity of blurry imagery to edit out the zombie actor or actress, leaving a fake blood pile of clothes... because zombies explode into particles that float away in Japan. Oh, and zombies know martial arts in Japan, but some of us knew that already.

So, what we have here is a zombie movie with no gore, acting on par with the 'Swimsuit team versus zombies' movie, and a main character so scantily clad, you expect the Japanese anime obligatory 'zombie claws her bikini top off' throughout. What you get instead is this amazing super samurai with twin blades, with her breasts so close to popping out that she can't actually run from or toward fights, so she kind of jogs in the stiffest pose ever. In order to give the fanboys skin, they sacrificed everything that would make a katana-vs-zombie movie great... sigh...

But at least the plot saved the day. Backstory: there's a family lineage in Japan who has cursed blood. The blood, when a person gets blood splashed on them, they go into a berserker rage. "The Organization" (yes that's what it's called) uses the cursed blood to make an immortality drug, but it actually causes people to die, and rise again! Then, the head zombie, Himiko, needs the blood of the last cursed sisters to complete a brew to make her totally immortal... enter katana sisters, with piss poor acting.

Watch at your own risk. I loves me my anime movies, but they dropped the ball here.

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