Chess

Chess pisses me off. I'm not going to go full tilt and say I know HOW to play. It was only a bit over a year ago I started actually trying to fully understand what moves were legal and when, and there's still quite a few moves I try to make that electronic chess games will yell at me about. I'm learning.

I like to believe I'm a pretty strategic minded person also. Stratego? No problem. Monopoly? I'm da bomb. RTS games? "I got the tools!" (anyone catch the reference?) Chess? "Ha ha! Five moves in and I've got good control of the board! Wait... Whadaya mean, checkmate?!"

But yeah... a little over a year ago, I was bored and found the chess that comes with Windows Vista. It keeps track of your wins and losses. I decided I should learn this most ancient of strategy games. I must have played close to a hundred games, and won about 10. Yesterday, remembering that I've always wanted to try kicking Chess's ass, I found a decent free chess app for android, and have successfully LOST every game so far. Screw you, Chess.

Shadowcrunch wrote:

RTS games? "I got the tools!" (anyone catch the reference?)

Guess 1. Dark Reign
Guess 2. Starcraft

I do have the disk for Battle Chess, you might like that; the pieces fight each other before the square is captured.

VaderXanth wrote:

Shadowcrunch wrote:

RTS games? "I got the tools!" (anyone catch the reference?)

Guess 1. Dark Reign
Guess 2. Starcraft

It was the Engineer on the Allied side in Command&Conquer Red Alert 2, and he would repeat it EVERY time you clicked on him.

Soothsayer wrote:

I do have the disk for Battle Chess, you might like that; the pieces fight each other before the square is captured.

I have played Battle Chess, and would much rather Dosbox my way into a game of Archon any day! Mmmm... Archon, to you,old friend! Not saying Battle Chess is bad... but it is NOT Archon.

OH... speaking of chess. Earlier, I had my king left, and the other side had a king, 4 pawns, a rook, and a bishop. Before I noticed enough to swing my king around, White Pawn #4 hit my side of the board and got Queened. I took one move with my King, and a thing pops up saying White had no valid moves left and the game was a stalemate. Being 1 piece against 7, does that count as a win?

I too have played Archon. And Battle Chess. And National Lampoon's Chess. But, give me a chessboard anytime... there aren't any gimmicks involved that way.

soothsayer wrote:

But, give me a chessboard anytime... there aren't any gimmicks involved that way.

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Anytime? Well, no time like the present!