Misc Video Gaming

Not a thread for specifics, just any old thing about any old thing. Could help share gaming wonders with those who don't run the Steam. For starters, just chilling with my homies! Absolutely badass in my tactileneck!

And now for something semi different... the PC game 'Mount & Blade'. The description and screenshots of this game intrigued me, but it didn't look like something I would value at the Steam asking price, especially being from 2008 and never hearing of it before. I read some reviews, noticed the keyword tags of sandbox and RPG... and started forming a picture of what this game would be. It sounded like a medieval open world thing almost like an Elder Scrolls, but with more focus on actually being a person of the world instead of a world-saving hero. It was also mentioned that instead of being a loner, you could hire an army, conquer cities, and become a baron or duke or whatever. Neat, but sounds like a ton of micro management that would just bog down an action game.

Found it cheap, grabbed it, fired it up. What the hell... There's a tutorial. The tutorial is in stages that show you how to fight with your medieval weapons. How to swing your sword to get past your opponent's guard, how to alter the stance with a quarterstaff to block an overhead sword swing, how to maneuver a shield to block arrows, how to use a bow, and how to do all these things from horseback... preferably while moving (yeah, right). That's it, tutorial is over. Sigh... better start a campaign.

Wait, what? Choose a name... ok. Now answer a bunch of questions, like one of those damn Facebook "what kind of unicorn are you" tests.... and BAM... my preconceptions of this game are shattered... Let's Begin.

Baleforge was a child of the warrior clans of the Steppes. He was taught to ride horses almost before he could walk. His father was a retired warrior turned blacksmith, who started teaching his craft to Baleforge at a young age. When he was old enough to start working at a trade, Baleforge's father sent him to learn metal and woodworking with an old friend who had his own smith's shop. Baleforge worked under the old master for many years until the master decided he had achieved Journeyman status and could start his own shop. Baleforge had reached the age of full manhood. Instead of starting a shop, Baleforge sought further knowledge at university, learning trade, politics, and science... but after several years, a potent wanderlust filled his heart with a longing to see the world, and after selling everything but the tools, weapons, and clothes on his back, Baleforge bought a horse and set out for distant lands...

I chose all of that, and those choices changed my starting stats! I also had some free points to spend, and I did so, increasing many passive traits, and my one-handed sword and bow skills. Then I got to design my face... YAY!!! Then I was off, staring at myself on horseback from several thousand feet up, on a map that I quickly discovered is frickin HUGE. The screen said the game was paused, and I had no clue what to do cuz again, the tutorial showed you how to fight and that's it. After about ten minutes of clicking buttons, I finally figured out how to move, and I galloped my horse west. Hey, there's a little dude running after me! I should see what he wants!

Damn, Bandits! Five bandits threatened me bodily harm unless I paid them. HA! I did fighting tutorials, bring it on! SWISH down to over-the-shoulder cam on rolling hills and plains. I gallop my mighty steed forward, holding my crossbow, wondering why I started with a crossbow when it said the steppe warriors used bows. Ah, there's the bandits! Fire the crossbow! Miss. Reload....fuck that's takes a while! Fire! Miss. Reload...sigh. AND....I'm unconscious. They capture me and drag me miles away before I manage to escape and start running for the nearest village. Wait...where's my horse?! They took my horse... half my gold... and are you fucking kidding me?! They took my fucking boots! Not counting the ten minutes of clicking buttons, I'm five minutes in and bandits stole my boots....

I came to a small village, and had several options, one of which was to ask for volunteers for my army. Three villages later, I had 9 warriors fighting for me. Bought a horse and boots too! Again... Bandits! HA! Charge!!!! I really need to learn to get off my horse until I figure out the horseback combat. Whack, slice! Unconscious! All of my soldiers are dead! Bandits drag me miles away before I escape, but I manage to escape with my horse and boots this time!

I ride for a much larger village. A city, if you will. Many more options than in a small village. I go to the traders area, and find an option to listen for news of good trading prospects. Huh? Because I have some skills with trade (see my character history!) I quickly discover that if I buy oil in this city and deliver it to some other city that starts with a T, I can profit 34 coins per oil! And that's when it sinks in... This isn't Elder Scrolls.... it's Privateer with horses and swords!!!! Thankfully I was playing offline so Steam couldn't keep track of how long I was playing, because I quickly got lost in that huge world, trading and fighting and riding. This game is freaking amazing!!!!

Mount and Blade part 2... I started over. I learned some things, and decided to put that knowledge into a proper start, so I started over, Using my new knowledge, I quickly became a force to be reckoned with, and in a couple weeks my horde was 44 strong galloping and running across the plains. We came upon a desert land, and found a band of 19 desert bandits (all mounted). We attacked, but being leader of 44 stalwart soldiers, I decided to let them fight for me while I sat idly back. 44 dead my guys later, I'm captured, dragged miles away, lose 90% of my gold and items, and finally manage to escape... broke, alone, and VERY pissed off.

I ride to the nearest small desert village, and begin my solo rampage (RAMPAAAAAGE!!!!) of pillaging small desert villages. In a matter of days, I had regained my fortunes and fighting force. I started gaining some reputation by performing simple tasks in small villages of the province I wanted to swear allegiance to, all the while, trying to figure out how to swear allegiance to lord. 54 game days in, I happen to talk to just the right dude in a castle, and suddenly my new small army of 44 are hired mercenaries for the lord of the province I wanted to swear allegiance to! As it happens, to become mercenaries for this lord, we had to agree to swear allegiance to him for at least one month. YAY, two problems solved! Oh... we have to do a job for the lord of the castle... we have to kidnap 5 veteran fighters from a neighboring province. NO PROBLEM!!!

As we ride off into the North it hits me... VETERAN fighters. No matter, we'll just find a small fighting force and attack. Hey, why are those horses with banners chasing us? After a little dialog with some HALTs and some words about working for sworn enemies so we have to kill you, I see:


Yeah, read the top. Fuck me. As the war band drags my captured ass all over the map, I remember that I have 90 game days to capture these 5 veterans... and I once again have nothing but my clothes and weapons. Now I'm just super pissed. Know what? I'm gonna kill some farmers from this neighboring province! On my RUN to a small group of farmers, another legion of 200+ soldiers swoops down on horseback, and I'm whooshed away on the map until I can escape...with a horse!!! HAHA!!! Back to those 9 farmers!!! When 9 farmers are too close to 250 soldiers, you find yourself fighting 259 adversaries. After escaping again, still with a horse (but now only 23 coins to my name), I once again assault the 9 farmers, after forgetting I have 23% health. The 4 surviving farmers capture me and run me all over the map until I escape, with no horse. Sigh...jog after those 4 pricks and slash slash slash HOORAY!!! I can successfully slay 4 farmers! I looted them, and have just enough stuff to sell where I can buy a lame horse, but it's a LONG walk back to a friendly village. I'm worried what will happen if I fail my mercenary contract, and am seriously contemplating starting over again. Rotten bastards!!!!

So I took a break, and spent Christmas with my homies!