I actually felt really good all the way through this one! I downshifted on hills, up-shifted on flats, and my kness surprising held on all the way through. Only reason I had to turn towards home was I was getting thirsty and my ass started hurting! (damn bike seats!!!)

Legs can get used to it... bad knees can start to get tougher... breathing can get easier... why in the hell can't the multiple moving parts of the human ass get used to the adult bicycle seat?! I even have a Schwinn gel pad cover squishy thing!!! I had to stop my ride at 5 miles just because my ass was falling asleep BAD! Otherwise I was actually feeling pretty damn good out there. Last few times, aside from my ass, I had issues with getting thirsty... I remember being a kid and being able to practically juggle while bicycling, now I'm all over the place if I take a hand off the bars... Anyway, thanks to my wife hooking me up with a generic brand (actually the company that makes the Swiss Army Knife, so not so generic...)... okay, an OFF-BRAND Camelbak type unit, I was staying happily hydrated and loving it!If you're planning on doing any kind of joggedy/cycledy in the summer heatedy, I'm going to recommend you grab one of these units! The off-brands can be had for as little as $20 at your local wal-mart!

I just by accident, dragged my mouse over your speed/altitude chart... A red dot appeared on your route and the speed you were going highlighted.... Neat!!

It looks as if tonight will be rain free, but cold. So, I have picked up an 'Outdoor Products' 2 Liter hydration backpack. I have hoodies. Tonight I bike!

When I first decided on a hydration pack-- for the reasons of it being easier to handle and can be used while walking, running, cycling, and motorcycling-- I didn't think how dorky one would look with a mini backpack with a big rubber hose coming out of it. Shoulder straps, chest strap, abdomen/stomach strap, big rubber hose...ear bud cable hanging through the whole mess.... "He's more machine now, than man. Twisted and evil." My god, how will I appear cycling down the rural roads of small town Amerika?

Then a little Duke Nukem sensation came upon me. The same reason I always like to have a lighter in my pocket, some form of knife, and some form of artificial light with good batteries. What if I'm cycling at night and I get sucked up into a Caromelloian Abductor class frigate?! What if I'm driving to work, and there's a quake, and the van falls through a crack into a land packed with dinosaurs and Sleestacks? Always best to be prepared...and having 2 liters of survival strapped to your back in a lightweight, easy to carry bundle is an AWESOME idea!

And then there's Sokolov. He ALWAYS carries a Camelbak anytime he travels. If he's in China and leaves the hotel, he's wearing his Camelbak. Even if he's planning on going out for a few hours, he wears his Camelbak. You see, back when he was Spetsnaz, he once went out for a mission supposed to take a few hours, and wound up spending three weeks in the Afghan desert surviving on his own urine and the blood of rodents. When he survived, he swore he would always have water with him.

So, even without aliens, there's always Afghanistan. Yes, wearing a hydration backpack might look dorky, and I know Anne Rice made it look cool to drink rodent blood. And hey, any guy would look cool getting a fresh urine spritzer from right out the tap... I will wear my hydration backpack...

Good people, I am happy! Okay... not happy... cuz my latest "thing" is outside my budget... but there's options! Lemme esplain...no, is too long... lemme sum up... (a gold star to anyone who gets the reference!)

I have been putting miles on my bicycle. I have a... um... Mongoose?... $60-80 Walmart special 18-speed mountain bike. I got all the Walmart bells and whistles, like crap plastic derailleurs, grip-shift controls that spin beyond the final shifting point, and a damn annoying squeak in the back that I thought was brakes or axle, but are not, cuz I tweaked and greased them (I didn't grease the brake pads...just the moving bits). I work with a guy who won a raffle for $500 at one of the local cycle shops, and got himself a $400 bike with some bells and whistles, and DAMN is it nice!!! (for a street bike... ). So I have been secretly envious of that damn nice bike, meanwhile truthfully admitting I would NEVER pay that kinda cash for a bicycle. Today, driving past Marinette's cycle shop, I saw a 'FatBike' sitting outside, and had to stop and gawk for a while until I saw the price tag. This damn thing is a mountain bike, with I believe 3-inch wide tires! It just looks AWESOME. After a little research, I found a manufacturer of one brand of Fatbike, the "NorthPaw", and they are handmade in Milwaukee, WI!!! Here, LOOK!

http://schlickcycles.com/bikes/northpaw/ Scroll down, look at the pictures. Click once to open the pic page, then click that pic to blow it up. ONLY problem with that bike is the price range STARTING around $1800. OUCH.

So I asked myself (before texting same) "How hard would it be to modify a walmart special with big wheels?" So I google imaged 'mountain bike mods'. What I found was an assortment of doohickeys and whatchamastix designed for better streamlining or turning a mountain bike into a commuter and crap like that. Occasionally a pic would jump out...but in the end, what occurred to me to just be the coolest idea ever is: if I'm going to mod a mountain bike to take big wheels, why settle for anything less than full-on motocross wheels?! C'mon, picture it!!!

And now... more pictures for you to picture...



This next one is either made in China or Switzerland, but either way I can't find any decent pics of it...but here's one, and you can watch it move too!

Good god people! Trying to keep up with my every other day physical activity thing, so I go out cycling. I did NOT break any records, and have a bunch of stuff to complain about. Bear with me, it gets good! (and you might learn something)

So first I start by heading East on Water Street, and immediately get smacked in the front by some damn 'Perfect Storm' style wind gusts from off the bay. They were moving enough I could HEAR the roar on the river just over yonder. Pedaling INTO that sucked, but I downshifted and kept moving. Turned around in Menekaunee, and came back up Main Street. At one mile, my knees felt like shit, but I decided I've been going 4-6 miles per trip, so I'm not stopping after one mile. At two miles my knees were still suffering, but by then I was committed to pedaling through City Park... pedal pedal pedal. From there, my knees plateaued, and I got dumberer, deciding I should take my usual route around the hospital and Bay Shore backwards, cuz dammit I'm supposed to push myself farther each time!

Due to construction on Pierce, I cut through the High School parking lot, did a little offroad (it IS a frickin mountain bike, after all!), and continued on my merry way. At five miles (roughly the corner of Pierce and University), my ass finally started hurting like the 'Greys' tried to probe me and missed. Pedal pedal pedal.

Six miles puts me on the big curve on Bay Shore around the college, and SMACK comes the wind off the bay. Downshift and persevere! C'mon! My phone just told me I passed six miles dammit! Pedal pedal...what an odd sensation! My nuts are tingly! What the hell does that mean?! Better do a systems check... chest pain? Nope. Shortness of breath? Nope. Pain in either arm? Nope. Pain in legs? Just my knees! Okay, no heart attacks or weird crap like that. So why are my nuts tingly? And why does it feel like the twig to my berries has now fallen asleep?! Time for some pedaling standing up... ooh that feels even more tingly, like blood flowing into a sleepy spot! My ass still hurts, so do some prison clenches to shake it off. And sit. At mile seven, and the rest of the ride, twig and a nutsac (two bits!) start tingling and dozing until I stand up.

First thing when I get online, to the google! How should I phrase this? I know! "nuts fall asleep on bicycle" First hit? A forum thread entitled: Help! My penis fell asleep!??? [Archive] - Bike Forums

Awesome info in here about seats, twigs, berries, and "women's woo hoos." Also some damn fine chuckles to be had. Will let you know if any of it works for me!